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Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hop Against Homophobia









First let me just offer a warm thank you to Erica Pike, NJ Nielsen and K-Lee Klein for asking me to participate in this awesome event. To be a part of something as huge as this is very humbling indeed.

I would also like to thank all of you for stopping my blog, hope you have fun while you're here.

If you leave me a comment your name will be entered in a drawing for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card.




Okay now for the reason you are here......to talk about Homophobia.......I don't even like saying that word....
To me it's right up there with racism, oppression, poverty, child-abuse, pedophilia, spousal-abuse, cancer and AIDS................words that need to be erased from our daily lives.............words that need to be in History books, dictionaries and online encyclopedias............no longer words we use on a daily basis...........

My hope is one day our future generations will think we were an idiotic society because they will know living in harmony and acceptance is so much better than the bullshit their ancestors did.

I will never know what it's like to be bullied by a homophobic person and I won't do the dishonor to the GLBT community by saying I do.  What I do know is racism, and hatred by people who I thought were my family, my friends.

See I am a white woman in a relationship with a man of color. I do not see the color of his skin, never have but instead I see what an amazing human being he is. I just never thought in 2012 I would ever have to deal with small minded people in my own family, but I have.

Let me clarify that though, because they are not blood relatives but they are my children's "other" family and were mine at one time. 

For those of you who have teenage children, you know that as some point we cease to exist to them. But on occasion they do something that is so far off from whatever you ever thought they were capable of that it literally brings you to your knees.

My youngest who is 16 came home from a weekend from her dad's house absolutely angry beyond words. Thinking she was just being her usual drama queen self I didn't really make a big deal of it at the time. Later that night she came to me in tears and said she hated her grandparents and dad because they were...in her words......"ignorant assholes who have no idea of how backwards they are" I was completely taken aback as she is very close to my ex's family, so I sat her down and we talked about what was wrong and she told me that her best friend in theater was a gay black boy that she absolutely adored. He is a senior and she is a freshman and she was sad that he would be graduating soon, so she shared her sorrow with her family. Now to let you know, my kids know what I write, who I date and I have raised them with nary a prejudice bone in their body, so when her family responded the way they did, to say she was devastated would be an understatement.

They told her she shouldn't be hanging around him because number one he was an "ignorant n..." yeah so not saying that word, then they said he was a pedophile because he liked boys..............I am absolutely speechless at this point......she was crying and she said "mom how can they feel this way, how could you put up with that for all those years?"

How does one answer that, this is my children's other family. I know what I wanted to say.......but I couldn't so I just calmly said..."unfortunately baby girl we can't pick who is family, who we are blood related to, but  what we can do is make sure that no matter what we never change who we are in our hearts....and who I see right now is an amazing young woman with a huge heart.  You keep being yourself and never let anyone try and make you feel what you don't.

Then her twenty year old sister stepped in and said, "Mom's right....who cares what color their skin is, or who they sleep with, who they love....Some people just need to look in the mirror and fix what's broken with their own damn selves and leave those who know who they are and what they want alone......My girls....damn I'm so proud of them.

I know my children will battle me from time to time and I'm okay with that. But I now know that who they are and how they feel is an extension of what I have instilled in them, or I'd like to think so. Maybe it's because of amazing people like all of you who fight against homophobia every day that has helped kids like mine see the way humans should all be.

Thanks for allowing me to share apart of myself today......This is what it's all about!!!!! Stand up and be Proud!!!!

Love and Peace to all
Em 
:)


35 comments:

  1. You are a good mama Embry! Just keep on teaching your girls to be accepting, its one of the most important lessons that they will ever learn.

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  2. The idea that people can still be that way in this day and age... is just sad. In any day and age, really. Some people just can't seem to see past the surface. Thanks for sharing, Embry.

    ashley.vanburen[at]gmail[dot]com

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  3. Damn, I feel so blessed with the family I have, my hubs may be an ist (but he is getting better. but there is no way in hell we would stand for have in-laws from hell. I so hope when Emily finally figures out that it is okay to leave home her future in'laws will be as tolerant as our own family. Your daughter has every right to be upset and pissed at them. Hell! I wanna come over there and slap them up the side of the head for her. being a phobe of any sort is wrong. Just be happy your daughter can see past their bullshit. You have a good one there.

    thank you for taking the time to post and share your story with us all.

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  4. thanks everyone and thank whoever is in charge I dont EVER have to deal with those closed minded idiots ever again as a daughter-n-law.......one day they will wake up old and alone......sad but true

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  5. It's always sad when parents or grandparents teach their children their own prejudiceds, go you for making sure that doesn't happen with your daughter! Lillywriting(at)gmail(dot)com

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  6. Embry you have a couple of great kids there. I'm glad that they retained what you have tried to instill in them. Kudos to you! Juliebites at gmail dot com

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  7. thank you lilly and julie and thanks for stopping by.....

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  8. Your girls are awesome. That is fantastic. Thank you for raising wonderful children. That's who we need in our future!
    Bella <3
    BellaLeone4 at gmail dot come
    www.bellaleonebooks.com

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    1. thanks so much for your very kinda words ......hopefully they will see Im not such a bad mom after all lol

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  9. Thanks for joining the hop, and sharing part of yourself with us. It's obvious you've raised your kids well & that they have good heads on their shoulders, despite some other their other relatives. Kudos to you.

    Christine
    isabelli3619 (at) aol (dot) com

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  10. Thanks for participating in the hop. This is a great cause that I pray one day will not be needed.

    forettarose@yahoo.com

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  11. There's a lot to be proud!

    contact at mchoule dot com

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  12. I was reading your post and my 4 year old son over to see what I was doing. He saw the picture at the bottom and asked me what they were doing. I told him they were kissing. He looked at me, told me he likes to kiss too and then gave me a kiss.

    andreagrendahl AT gmail DOT com

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    1. Andrea thats too cute.......kiss him always....my girls still kiss me and tell me they love me....even in public......we are very touchy feely on my side of the family.........wouldnt have it any other way :)

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  13. Every time I hear I story like that I can't believe there are people that ignorant out there but its great to hear that there are also people raising their kids without prejudice and hatred.

    burchills AT gmail DOT com

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  14. Thanks for sharing your story. You should be very proud of your girls - and I am sure you are.

    lmbrownauthor at gmail dot com

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  15. thanks everyone for all your kind words with people like you out there...we are well on our way to getting rid of homophobia!!!!!

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  16. Wonderful post! Gotta love Betty White ;)

    sionedkla@gmail.com

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  17. You do have some great girls! I hope your youngest is able to keep in contact with her friend when he graduates!

    I know what you mean about your family casting you out for dating someone of a different race. Initially, I was blamed for my father's terminal illness by my mother because of who I was dating, then living with when I had to leave home quick, fast and in a hurry. Thankfully, my father was able to accept me and my family let me back in before he passed. Things are patched up now, but I always remember being blamed. Any type of prejudice like this is unacceptable.

    lina7391(at)hotmail.com

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    1. I totally agree!!! I'm glad you're father came around.....Luckily for me these "people" are not my blood family...unfortunately they are my kids.....but I know now my girls won't let them twist their pre-dated idiotic philosophies on them......

      thanks for stopping by

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  18. You have awesome kids. It thrills me how much the younger generation has moved past what the older generation gets hung up on still. It does give us all hope for the future. Thanks for sharing.
    andy@amburns.com

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    1. thanks so much for saying that....even when their being typical young diva queens they are still awesome kids....I am very blessed indeed

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  19. I don't like the word homophobia, either. Great post! You have a wonderful family Embry! And that last photo rocks!

    cayce006 at yahoo dot com

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  20. Thank you so much for sharing your daughter's pain with us. It's so hard to try and explain to our children why people do, say and act or believe as they do, and still maintain your own anger. Our children are adults now and I'm so proud of them
    Your daughter's most certainly rock! Isn't it so satisfying and heart warming to know that they are a part of you...and look how wonderful they have turned out?
    I have many cultures and races in my blood family yet as sister who is religious over the top who can't quite grasp the concept of you love who you love. I walked away long ago and have come to the conclusion that it's the hatred I can't tolerate and hypocrisy nor the attitudes, and I am much happier than having their poison in my life.
    You rock, and than you for being part of this amazing event..*S*

    Darcy
    pommawolf @hotmail.com

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    1. thanks Darcy for your thoughtful words...........I really think with enough of us standing together we can make a difference......I for one have no room for small minded assholes in my life :)

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  21. I am so mad at my (&^&*#$ computer at this moment!! I had already written you a nice long reply and it took me to the previous page all by itself! ARGH!
    I'll summarize what I said previously then LOL.
    Big, warm hugs to your girls for in my eyes they are winners. I wish I could embrace that boy for he's made it so far without harming himself. And to you, my dear, ATTA GIRL!!! For teaching your children right! I am sort of going through the same crap with the future ex where he uses the N word so freely in front of my little one and, unfortunately, she's picking up on it. It takes time and a lot of patience to deprogram a child's mind but I will never give up. I taught her what homosexualism is since she was about 8. It's never too early to start.

    Sandra Rush
    taina1959@yahoo.com
    http://enchantedrosegarden.blogspot.com

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    1. Kudos to you for showing your daughter that there's no need for hatred and bigotry in this world......Kids need to hear that everyday and eventually they will make their own decisions...but with enough information and positiveness they will see what is important in life.....thanks for your kind words and stopping by to say hi

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  22. I instill acceptance in my young children now, because they will be the generation of change, I believe.

    peggy1984@live.com

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    1. me too!! it's important like the saying goes.....you have to be taught to hate.....which means you have to be taught to love as well.....I know which one I prefer.... :)

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  23. I will make sure to tell my children about how you can love who you want to love and I hope change happens soon where everyone can be accepted. Also that picture at the ending is so cute!

    red_tigergirl2(at)hotmail(dot)com

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  24. I'm hoping the next generation will lead the way...great job with your girls!

    vitajex(at)aol(dot)com

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  25. Thanks for participating in this hop. I'm enjoying all the great blog posts.

    penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com

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  26. Embry, what a wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing that *hugs*.

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    1. oh thank you Erica for having me it was a true honor to be a part of this event....

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  27. Thank you for sharing that story, Embry. Good for you!

    jarockauthor at gmail dot com

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