Embry Carlysle Romance: May 2012

First let me just offer a warm thank you to Erica Pike, NJ Nielsen and K-Lee Klein for asking me to participate in this awesome event. To be a part of something as huge as this is very humbling indeed.

I would also like to thank all of you for stopping my blog, hope you have fun while you're here.

If you leave me a comment your name will be entered in a drawing for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card.

Okay now for the reason you are here......to talk about Homophobia.......I don't even like saying that word....

To me it's right up there with racism, oppression, poverty, child-abuse, pedophilia, spousal-abuse, cancer and AIDS................words that need to be erased from our daily lives.............words that need to be in History books, dictionaries and online encyclopedias............no longer words we use on a daily basis...........

My hope is one day our future generations will think we were an idiotic society because they will know living in harmony and acceptance is so much better than the bullshit their ancestors did.

I will never know what it's like to be bullied by a homophobic person and I won't do the dishonor to the GLBT community by saying I do. What I do know is racism, and hatred by people who I thought were my family, my friends.

See I am a white woman in a relationship with a man of color. I do not see the color of his skin, never have but instead I see what an amazing human being he is. I just never thought in 2012 I would ever have to deal with small minded people in my own family, but I have.

Let me clarify that though, because they are not blood relatives but they are my children's "other" family and were mine at one time.

For those of you who have teenage children, you know that as some point we cease to exist to them. But on occasion they do something that is so far off from whatever you ever thought they were capable of that it literally brings you to your knees.

My youngest who is 16 came home from a weekend from her dad's house absolutely angry beyond words. Thinking she was just being her usual drama queen self I didn't really make a big deal of it at the time. Later that night she came to me in tears and said she hated her grandparents and dad because they were...in her words......"ignorant assholes who have no idea of how backwards they are" I was completely taken aback as she is very close to my ex's family, so I sat her down and we talked about what was wrong and she told me that her best friend in theater was a gay black boy that she absolutely adored. He is a senior and she is a freshman and she was sad that he would be graduating soon, so she shared her sorrow with her family. Now to let you know, my kids know what I write, who I date and I have raised them with nary a prejudice bone in their body, so when her family responded the way they did, to say she was devastated would be an understatement.

They told her she shouldn't be hanging around him because number one he was an "ignorant n..." yeah so not saying that word, then they said he was a pedophile because he liked boys..............I am absolutely speechless at this point......she was crying and she said "mom how can they feel this way, how could you put up with that for all those years?"

How does one answer that, this is my children's other family. I know what I wanted to say.......but I couldn't so I just calmly said..."unfortunately baby girl we can't pick who is family, who we are blood related to, but what we can do is make sure that no matter what we never change who we are in our hearts....and who I see right now is an amazing young woman with a huge heart. You keep being yourself and never let anyone try and make you feel what you don't.

Then her twenty year old sister stepped in and said, "Mom's right....who cares what color their skin is, or who they sleep with, who they love....Some people just need to look in the mirror and fix what's broken with their own damn selves and leave those who know who they are and what they want alone......My girls....damn I'm so proud of them.

I know my children will battle me from time to time and I'm okay with that. But I now know that who they are and how they feel is an extension of what I have instilled in them, or I'd like to think so. Maybe it's because of amazing people like all of you who fight against homophobia every day that has helped kids like mine see the way humans should all be.

Thanks for allowing me to share apart of myself today......This is what it's all about!!!!! Stand up and be Proud!!!!

Love and Peace to all